Who is NF? Is he a Christian Rapper with few followers outside of a small niche fanbase? No.
Nate Feuerstein was born in Michigan on March 30th, 1991 as the oldest of three children. He had a traumatic childhood. His father left him at an early age, and his mother died in 2009 due to an opioid overdose, leaving her new boyfriend to abuse him. It was this continuous hardship that attracted him towards music, which became his outlet during his darkest moments.
Feuerstein has been creating music for well over a decade, with multiple songs garnering hundreds of millions of views and multiple albums going platinum. Despite these continuous achievements, his fanbase remains small, and he has never received significant commercial recognition.
However, the lack of recognized success or mainstream advertisement doesn’t reduce the scope of his music’s impact on millions of people. Feuerstein’s incredible blend of masterful lyricism and production transcends traditional rap music, conveying meaningful messages about prevalent social issues. With that, let’s go through his catalog, and highlight the songs that put NF’s talent on full display.
Mansion
Throughout his career, NF has formatted and compiled his albums to tell a story, complete with characters, conflicts and climaxes. In many ways, NF’s first album Mansion is the prologue to this long journey.
After a quick intro, the second song on the album is entitled “Mansion.” This song contains one of the greatest extended metaphors I have ever heard, where NF’s mind is a mansion, with different rooms representing different feelings and past experiences.
The song begins with a beautiful yet melancholic chorus, sung by Lauren Strahm (stage name Fleurie). The lyrics are ominous, and a faint, but vivid picture of a dark mansion “with a blank expression.” The verses begin and the imagery intensifies. Nate describes “walls covered with lyrics” and the basement where he writes to unleash his anger.
Throughout the song, he takes us through different rooms of the “mansion,” such as the room of trauma and the room of regrets. However, we never get to see the room of fear, because here he entraps his deepest and darkest secrets. He says “You might get other doors to open up, but this door’s not, Cause I don’t want you to have the opportunity to hurt me,” solidifying the idea that some traumas are closed off, out of fear of rejection by the world.
Therapy Session
Throughout Mansion, we explore his intricacies on a surface level. However, in Therapy Session, we are presented with a complete picture of the traumas, feelings, and worries NF struggles with. “How Could You Leave Us” is the first of two songs Nate produces surrounding his mother. This song is simply painful. Decades of suffering, anguish, and regret are released in one five minute track. He sings, “I don’t want a pic of my mom, I need the real thing,” fully admitting he hasn’t forgiven her for letting herself go down a dark path. However the last minute is heartbreaking, Nate was supposed to sing another verse, but broke down and cried into the mic. He ends with the statement, “when I have kids, you won’t be there for any of it.”
One may ask why someone would share something so personal and painful on a music track. However, music is more than just a job for Feuerstein, it’s his outlet. Music is his therapy session.
Therapy Session is an emotional journey, containing songs that encourage self reflection and meditation, and also offer new perspectives on particular aspects of life. During each song, a new picture is painted, where we see how mental health struggles and past traumas have impacted different parts of his life, such as his relationships with his family, friends, and wife.
“Lost in the Moment,” the finale of Therapy Session, may be the most emotional track on the record. Throughout this album, NF has been discussing various mental health struggles, and in this song he asks himself why he continues to deal with these burdens. He says to himself, “If you really mean what you write in these lines, why don’t you fix it? ‘Cause I’m getting tired.”
However, the chorus on this track is its true point of distinction. Andrew Moss (a Christian singer whom NF has frequently collaborated with), along with the choir in the background, sings a moving and soulful chorus. The beauty of his voice is contrasted with dark lyrics.
Aligning with the emotion of this song and the album as a whole, the beautiful singing and production on so many of the tracks radiate a sense of hope, a hope for mental peace and stability. This hopeful light shines the brightest in his next album Perception, his most successful record.
Perception
Perception shares many similarities with Therapy Session in terms of overall theme, which is when criticism began to emerge about NF being too repetitive and being a “one trick wonder,” which to this day is the most frequent critique from mainstream media.
This criticism is addressed in “Outcast,” the first track on Perception. Here we are introduced to another signature NF symbol: the cage. The cage is representative of fear, the fear that Feuerstein has to let go of his burdens and past traumas because it’s all he has ever known.
NF has acknowledged multiple times through music and interviews his position in the music industry, with a small but dedicated fanbase, and very little recognition from mainstream media. “Outcast” is the first track where NF has accepted this unfortunate reality, and he loves this reality.
For the recording of the music video, he invited fans to his studio where they were featured. The video entails footage of Feuerstein interacting with his fans as he says, “I’ll just be the outcast, I’ll just be the outcast, I’ll just be the outcast, I guess I’ll be the outcast.”
This song is my favorite that Feuerstein has produced, because the message strikes me on a personal level. I resonate with the idea of not having all the friends in the world, not being the most popular, and still being content. Being an “Outcast” is fine, and according to Nate and his fanbase, it’s quite fun.
“Let You Down” is Nate’s most successful song ever, with over 1.2 billion listens on Spotify and over 260 million views on YouTube. You have probably heard the song on the radio, or while walking through a local department store.
The chorus is its most famous component. It contains two sections, one sung by Feuerstein with his standard voice, and the other autotuned to reach a high octave. In its entirety, the song is an apology to himself, for not allowing himself to heal, for not accepting and acknowledging his past pains and traumas, and for sacrificing everything for his career.
The music video represents this idea perfectly with constant depictions of Feuerstein struggling, such as imagery of drowning, or or of being trapped in a car as it burns. Once again, the bright and beautiful chorus is contrasted with emotional and often melancholy lyrics.
Despite the apparent apology on this track, Feuerstein’s journey is far from over. In fact, “the search” for hope and freedom has only just begun.
The Search
Between the release of Perception and The Search, there was a near two year gap. The opening track explains the reason behind this extended absence. According to the song, Nate went through a mental breakdown and had to receive treatment from a therapist.
He raps about thoughts of quitting his music career entirely, because he is far too consumed with his burdens. He discusses his fears and the aspects of being a world famous rapper that make him feel anxious, such as performing. Overall, he describes the feeling of losing grip on reality, feeling that time is running past him and he’s running out.
Then…the track has one of the greatest beat drops I have ever heard, one that startled me the first time I ever heard it. It could raise anyone out of their seat, prompting them to dance, at a minimum.
Feuerstein makes it very clear from the beginning what the central idea of the album is, a search for hope and liberation from past traumas. He closes the intro song with the line “The search begins, I’m back, so enjoy the trip.”
The Search is an emotional journey. He talks about his stresses, his feelings of self loathing, and wanting to be left alone by his critics and producers.
“Trauma” is the closing track, and it displays the versatility of Nate’s talents. “Trauma” is aggressively simple, and sounds like Feuerstein sat down with a piano and just sang his heart out.
He discusses his childhood traumas and how they prohibit him from functioning even thirty years later. However, the melody is so beautiful, the cello playing in the highest octave alongside the piano creates an atmospheric sound that is soul stirring.
Fittingly, The Search ends with the lyric “Why haven’t you found me yet?”
Hope
Hope is NF’s latest album, released in the spring of 2023, and its tone is radically different from past albums. Feuerstein has matured and the manner in which he discusses his issues is healthier.
We also see a major shift in imagery, with NF now dressed in white, the color of hope, rather than black, the color of despair. The fourth track on the album, “Mama,” represents this shift perfectly.
In the first verse, NF asks his mother questions about heaven, asking her what it is like and what she has seen. He asks, “Does each breath take you closer to God, would you say that you cry less? Do you feel at peace yet? Do you laugh more? You feel like heaven is everything you could ask for?” The second verse is where NF finally forgives his mom and says, “we will always keep a table for four.”
The significance of this song and his ability to come to terms with the past, to forgive his mother after her actions and to finally find a path forward, displays both his maturity and his personal growth.
“Running” is the closing track of Hope. The track begins with a soft string melody, and progresses with Feuerstein softly singing. Immediately the track begins with words of hope: “I’m ready I can see the sun, it’s coming up. There’s happiness on the horizon.”
Throughout the song, he is talking to his dark side overwhelmed by the burdens. He has finally acknowledged that this is the evil side of him that’s holding him back. The man who was overwhelmed by his traumas and burdens for over ten years has finally developed the courage to stand up to himself.
However, this doesn’t come without pain. It’s like when you must part ways with that friend, one who is a bad influence on you; you know you’ve made the correct choice, but the two of you have spent so much time together and cultivated so many memories, that parting ways becomes difficult.
This song is emotional, especially for any fan that has watched Feuerstein grow and struggle throughout this long journey. This is the type of track that could close a career, because it wraps up the NF journey perfectly.
Conclusion
The NF journey is one of the greatest stories ever told in music, with recognizable characters, a dramatic and emotional climax, and a satisfying ending. And, if Nate Feuerstein were to retire tomorrow, he would be remembered as the greatest unrecognized artist of all time.
The NF journey is one of the greatest stories ever told in music, with recognizable characters, a dramatic and emotional climax, and a satisfying ending. And, if Nate Feuerstein were to retire tomorrow, he would be remembered as the greatest unrecognized artist of all time.