“Forced speech”
“Indoctrination”
“Fetishes”
These are just some of the words parents use to describe LGBTQ+ education in schools. As one of the most widely debated topics of the past few years, the subject of queer education continues to be at the forefront of conversations all around the country.
Many people believe that LGBTQ+ education is a form of brainwashing, that students, specifically young children, are too young to learn about sexual orientation or gender identity. However, from a very young age, we are surrounded by “straight” imagery. When a 4 year old girl gets tucked into bed at night, they can choose from a vast array of fairy tales depicting a beautiful damsel getting rescued by a heroic prince. When a 6 year old boy locks eyes with a little girl from across the room, the whole class “oohs” and “awws.” When an 8 year old sees the male and female lead of their favorite Disney channel show kiss, they cheer, but they’re not surprised, because it is expected that they should end up together.
Queer representation in daily life, especially the kind of life that children lead, is stretched far and thin. If the 4 year old girl had a storybook on her shelf portraying the tale of a milkmaid and a female knight, that despite all odds found true love, then maybe that little girl wouldn’t grow up to wrinkle her nose at a sapphic relationship when they turn 23. If the 6 year old boy knew it was ok to look at other boys instead, then maybe he wouldn’t avert his eyes when he saw them holding hands. If the 8 year old girl saw the two female leads kiss on her favorite TV show, then maybe she wouldn’t feel ashamed when she realized she wanted to kiss a girl too. This gets to the root of the issue that many parents, students, and teachers are ignoring. LGBTQ+ education is necessary because if kids don’t learn that two boys can hold hands, there is a much larger possibility that they will grow up to believe they shouldn’t.
These experiences are caused by no predetermined bias that the child was born with; it’s because of the lack of awareness and understanding of people that are not exactly like them. When you learn about someone, you develop a deeper sense of empathy for them because you can better understand their point of view. If this understanding isn’t achieved early in life, it can be extremely difficult to establish it later.
Brian Wenke, the executive director at ‘It Gets Better,’ an organization dedicated to supporting and improving the mental health of queer youth, sat down with me to do an interview on this topic. Mr. Wenke has been a part of “It Gets Better” for 15 years, and has seen the organization grow and evolve into what it is today. “Today, I say that ‘It Gets Better’ was very much a pioneer in the storytelling space, specifically storytelling for social impact. We weren’t the only organization doing storytelling, but we were and are the largest storytelling effort to empower LGBTQ plus youth, even today, 15 years later.”
According to Wenke, “we are doing a disservice to young people by not including the stories of LGBTQ+ people in lesson plans, K-12.” He explains that by spreading awareness of queer people and their experiences fosters a sense of empathy among kids. “There’s a huge spectrum of experiences that we all have. And it’s important to absorb as many of them as possible, to encourage empathy and general acceptance. And if not acceptance, then tolerance of people who are different.”
A commonly seen misconception is that LGBTQ+ education is just about spreading awareness of what the community stands for. An education in queer issues goes far beyond corporate pride; it involves real lives and lived experiences across time and place. It’s well known that people such as Josephine Baker, Audre Lorde, and Freddie Mercury, have either been involved in queer relationships or openly identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Of course, they changed the course of history outside of the queer community, impacting the music, arts, and literature in ways to be remembered. By not openly recognizing the journey and hardship that these historical figures endured as a result of their queer identities, we remove a crucial chapter of their story, and disrespect the legacy they worked so hard to create. As Wenke said, “LGBTQ plus people are and will always be and have been part of the fabric of history. And young people deserve to hear that.”
Queer youth are often misinterpreted by the people that surround them, which is why it’s so vital to let children and teens know they are not alone. ‘It Gets Better’ works to circulate people’s stories, so members of the LGBTQ+ community feel less isolated in life. This mission is not exclusive to queer youth either, as heterosexual and cisgender children can benefit from this education as well. Wenke said, “I think we’ve already come to the point where we realize we all need support. Young people, older people, we all need to be part of this community and we all need to lift each other up in one way or another.” By learning about people who are different from them, “straight” students can experience the world through a new viewpoint.
When Mr. Wenke was growing up, he wasn’t exposed to stories about people like him. There wasn’t much queer representation in the media, let alone queer education at school. “It was a very isolating experience coming out in a world at a time where there weren’t very many stories about LGBTQ plus people surfacing or available,” he said. By including queer education in lesson plans and classroom activities, students may feel more comfortable coming out to their peers, or reaching out to other queer students.
Children are naturally curious, and if they are exposed to LGBTQ+ people and their community, they might want to know more. Because of the widespread accessibility of the internet nowadays, people can easily find almost anything online. And let’s face it: the internet isn’t always the most accurate or safe way for children to learn about new topics, especially ones that affect their sense of self. That is why it is so important that they can learn about queer issues in a more controlled and comfortable environment. Like it or not, parents can’t prevent all information from reaching their kids. They can only attempt to restrict it. But all barriers have limits, and if children really want to find out about LGBTQ+ ideas, they will. In fact, they are more likely to want to know about gay rights and issues if the parents actively try to control their access to information.
Many parents and teachers also don’t know how to interact with LGBTQ+ children. Due to this, they try to avoid the topic or suppress it altogether. But there are better ways to manage queer students or kids, even if you are not queer yourself. After all, LGBTQ+ people are not asking for special treatment. As Wenke said, “A good ally allows a LGBTQ+ person in their life to exist without having to do anything performative.” LGBTQ+ people and queer stories in education plans are not redundant, they are representative.
Queer people have always and will always exist. No amount of belittling or underrepresentation will ever change that. They will exist even if their parents send them to conversion therapy, even if their friends reject them, and even if their teacher refuses to talk about queer stories in class. However, the support and acceptance of people around them contributes a great deal to queer individuals’ mental health. And acceptance can only be achieved through understanding, which first comes from education, and a basic knowledge about LGBTQ+ facts. LGBTQ+education in schools can help create a better and more inclusive world, where all youth, queer or not, can become closer together as peers.
“There’s a huge spectrum of experiences that we all have. And it’s important to absorb as many of them as possible, to encourage empathy and general acceptance. And if not acceptance, then tolerance of people who are different,” said Brian Wenke, the executive director at ‘It Gets Better,’ an organization dedicated to supporting and improving the mental health of queer youth.