Is it fate, or just TikTok? As you scroll through endless videos of romance trends, it’s hard not to wonder: could love really be written in the stars or is it guided by viral theories that have to do with destiny, divine timing, and fate? From soulmates to astrological compatibility, TikTok is full of romantic notions that raise intriguing questions about how we understand and approach relationships today. While some of these videos may seem like they stem from the musings of a 12-year-old girl, the wide appeal of these ideas taps into something deeper — our need for certainty in an uncertain dating world.
Many viral moments seem to support these theories, igniting hope in those who believe they might meet their soulmate through unconventional means. After watching a video about compatible astrological signs, for instance, people might jump to conclusions convinced that a specific person is “the one” for them. Additionally, they may feel drawn to someone by an ‘invisible string’ — a concept popularized by TikTok and folklore alike — that suggests an invisible bond connecting them, as if fate is guiding their paths together. Yet, as many rush into such ideas, they may later find themselves in “situationships,” where a lack of clear relationship labels creates confusion and frustration.
Then there are the quirky, almost absurd, theories like the Orange Peel Theory, where a boyfriend’s actions — whether he peels the orange or not — can spark debates and, in some cases, even lead to unnecessary arguments. In a way, social media has become a matchmaking guide, albeit one that is as unpredictable as modern dating itself.
Other theories are the Meeting Twice Theory, which suggests that we’re meant to meet our soulmates once in an early moment in our lives and another, later on in our lives. The Twin Flames Theory claims that each person has a perfect match that mirrors their soul, and the concept of soulmates highlights the belief in a deep, timeless connection between two people.
Social media, particularly TikTok, plays a significant role in shaping modern romantic beliefs and behaviors. In today’s complex dating-scape, many young people jump into relationships fueled by trends and viral ideas, often leading to emotionally charged situations like “love bombing.” This tactic — where one partner overwhelms the other with affection and gifts early on — can create an intense but fleeting connection. Even when they encounter what they believe to be the right person, they may find the timing is off, or worse, discover an ‘ick ’ — a sudden feeling of repulsion or discomfort — that suddenly drains all attraction.
This intricate web of beliefs and behaviors can be categorized as modern romantic ideologies, offering a compelling perspective on today’s dating landscape. These ideologies influence not only how individuals navigate relationships but also how they perceive the essence of love and fate itself.
But beneath it all, a deeper question remains: why do we believe in fate?
One reason people lean toward believing in fate is for the comfort and motivation it provides. When something unfortunate happens, attributing it to fate allows people to feel that it happened for a reason — potentially paving a way for a better future. This belief offers a sense of meaning and purpose, as it offers reassurance that their lives are destined to follow a particular path that benefits people.
Another reason is the desire to feel connected to a higher purpose, or to be part of something bigger than one’s self. Many find solace in the idea of a grand design guiding the universe, with each person playing a unique role. This belief fosters hope and optimism, as they trust that destiny will eventually lead them toward a brighter future.
Additionally, the fear of making a wrong decision often pushes people toward fate, as it provides an easier way to accept outcomes. For instance, if a poor decision results in financial hardship, it’s less distressing to view it as unavoidable destiny than as a personal mistake.
However, attempting to test fate within a relationship — such as by intentionally putting a partner in challenging situations to see how they respond or to measure their commitment — rarely fosters real closeness; it often leads to doubt, uncertainty, and instability instead.
When it comes to modern dating, the belief in romance theories can yield both positive and negative consequences.
On the positive side, romantic theories offer emotional comfort and hope. The idea of a destined soulmate can bring comfort, especially during difficult times. A belief in fate reassures people that any heartbreak might lead to something better, lending meaning to their relationship experiences. Moreover, these theories can offer guidance in relationships; for some, concepts like soulmates or twin flames help give direction in dating. The belief that someone for us is out there and meant to be can encourage people to seek connections that align with their values and desires.
However, there are drawbacks. One major downside is the potential for unrealistic expectations. Romance theories can lead to a skewed view of love, where partners are expected to meet idealized standards. This can cause disappointment and frustration when reality inevitably clashes with these heightened visions. As Persephone Chan ’28 put it, “many side with the idea that what feels right is the way to go, but sometimes what we are destined for is not clear to us. Consequently, our expectations may not align with the things we really should be seeing.”
Another downside is the romanticizing of toxicity. Concepts like “twin flames” may promote unhealthy patterns, encouraging people to stay in toxic relationships simply because they believe they are “meant to be.” This often leads to extremes, such as obsessive attachment or severe emotional distress. As Marina del Solar ’25 said, “You either excuse your partner too much because you’re ‘destined’ for each other, or you break up too quickly because you don’t feel that sense of ‘destiny.’”
The media also plays a powerful role in reinforcing these romantic theories. Social media and traditional media often reinforce each other, perpetuating beliefs in fated love and romantic conspiracies. Romance movies like The Sun is Also a Star and When Harry Met Sally open and add to the idea that destiny plays a key role in bringing lovers together. Social platforms like TikTok then take these cinematic narratives and reshape them into viral trends, creating a feedback loop where romantic ideals are endlessly replayed and amplified.
So, how can we reconcile these romance theories with real-life relationships?
One way is by finding a middle ground, which could mean acknowledging the romantic allure of these ideas while staying rooted in reality. Real love, after all, is built on mutual effort, communication, and compatibility — not destiny alone. Testing someone in a relationship to prove their “destined” love can erode trust, while idealizing a partner based on fate can prevent genuine intimacy.
There’s also the risk of obsessing over minor crushes and labeling them as potential soulmates. As one student remarked, “If you believe in destiny too much, you feel like everyone you have a minor crush on is your soulmate…which can definitely hurt relationships because you can be putting in all your effort even though the other person doesn’t reciprocate.”
Emily Mao ’26 compared this tendency to “an all-or-nothing game, where people are constantly searching for signs that someone’s ‘the one’… it stops people from forming objective views on a potential partner.”
And as William Wu ’25 noted, “I think people become more complacent and unwilling to change themselves for the better if they believe in things like ‘destined love.’ If the person they are in a relationship with points out their flaws or does something that isn’t exactly how they envisioned, I think they’ll be more compelled to simply break up and tell themselves ‘It wasn’t meant to be’ rather than do some actual self-reflection and change themselves for the better.” This perspective emphasizes the importance of personal growth and effort in relationships, reminding us that love is as much about choice and commitment as it is about destiny.
Ultimately, the allure of romance theories is natural, yet relationships tend to flourish most when we remember that they require work, growth, and acceptance — qualities that may be less magical than fate but are, in the end, far more fulfilling.
“People should stop trying to go for ‘movie-like’ love and focus on real life — focus on knowing what’s good for you, and focus on knowing what’s good, or better for the other person. And we also need to normalize the fact that it’s okay to be single,” said Eunseo Lee ’25.