In the hallways of any modern high school, the word “chivalry” might sound like something ripped from a dusty old textbook or the script of a medieval drama. Yet, despite its ancient roots in knighthood and courtly conduct, chivalry hasn’t entirely disappeared. It has simply evolved.
Historically, chivalry referred to a strict code of behavior expected of medieval knights–a blend of courage, loyalty, honor, and respect for women. It was romanticized in legends of King Arthur and tales of noble warriors. But in today’s world, you won’t find many people jousting or pledging fealty to lords. So, where did chivalry go?
The truth is, chivalry didn’t vanish; it shifted. Instead of sword fights and noble quests, modern chivalry looks like holding the door open, standing up for someone being mistreated, or sending a text to check on a friend. It’s no longer just about how men treat women–it’s about how people treat each other. The values behind chivalry–kindness, respect, responsibility–are still very much alive, even if they’re no longer delivered on horseback.
At schools like Bronx Science, where students come from all walks of life and bring with them different definitions of respect and decency, chivalry becomes more than an outdated concept–it becomes a conversation. In a classroom discussion, it might be questioned: is offering to carry someone’s backpack thoughtful or patronizing? Should holding a door be expected or optional? These questions don’t mean chivalry is dead–they mean it’s adapting.
But the conversation isn’t limited to schools. In the broader world, chivalry has become a topic of cultural and political debate. Some argue that the rise of feminism has challenged traditional forms of chivalry, calling into question whether these gestures are respectful or rooted in outdated, patriarchal assumptions. Critics of modern chivalry say it can imply that women are weak or in need of protection, reinforcing gender stereotypes rather than promoting equality.
At the same time, others argue that true chivalry is not inherently sexist, but rather about mutual respect. They contend that feminism and chivalry are not incompatible–after all, a man holding a door for a woman out of politeness isn’t necessarily asserting dominance. In this view, acts of courtesy should be universal, not gendered.
President of Bronx Science’s National Organization for Women Club (NOW), Valentine Giret ’25, weighed in on the debate. “The concept we commonly know to be chivalry is dwindling. Today it’s more about taking initiative and showing respect; it’s a way to help someone without taking away their independence,” said Griet. “I think some feminist movements misinterpret it as a threat to empowerment, but it can actually coexist with strength and self-identity. Appreciating someone doing something kind for you doesn’t make you any less empowered. It’s a personal preference and it doesn’t always have to be that way, of course, but it also doesn’t have to be framed in such a negative light.”
“It shouldn’t be man versus women,” Giret added. “The less we pit ourselves against each other, the more we can embrace the ideals of chivalry. It’s about mutual respect, not control. That’s why I love that in the National Organization for Women Club , we have that kind of nuanced discourse.”
Social media has transformed chivalry, often spotlighting viral moments of kindness or debate over whether a gesture was courteous or condescending. What might have once been a quiet act–giving up a seat, helping someone carry bags–is now analyzed, sometimes praised and sometimes picked apart in comment sections.
Generational differences have too played a role in how chivalry is perceived and practiced. Older generations may see traditional gestures like pulling out a chair or paying for a date as respectful and romantic, while younger people might interpret them as outdated or even uncomfortable. The growing awareness around consent, autonomy, and gender fluidity has redefined what it means to be polite or respectful. For many, the modern replacement for chivalry is something broader: human decency, unbound by gendered expectations.
Chivalry in modern times does not need to be performative or dramatic. It’s in the small choices people make every day: choosing to listen when someone speaks, helping a peer without being asked, or recognizing someone’s effort even if they didn’t succeed. And yes, while some may argue that the word itself is outdated, the spirit of chivalry–compassion, dignity, and moral strength–should still have a place in today’s world.
Beyond individual acts, institutions are also engaging with the concept in new ways. Schools may include lessons on digital etiquette and respect in online spaces–arguably a modern evolution of chivalry. Workplace training often includes emotional intelligence and inclusive communication, both of which emphasize the same values that medieval chivalry once championed, just without the chainmail.
Public discussions around chivalry also reflect larger societal changes in how we define respect. In interviews and opinion pieces, many women have voiced that they appreciate thoughtful gestures but want them grounded in sincerity rather than expectation. There’s a difference, they argue, between kindness and performative politeness meant to uphold outdated gender dynamics. This distinction has become a key element in modern conversations about gender and etiquette.
In romantic contexts, the conversation becomes even more nuanced. Some still enjoy traditional gestures–flowers, car doors held open, jackets draped over shoulders. Others prefer partnerships built on equality, where both people share emotional labor, decision-making, and financial responsibility. These evolving dynamics highlight the need for communication and mutual understanding, rather than relying on outdated scripts.
Meanwhile, in digital spaces like dating apps or social media platforms, the expectations around chivalry become even more complicated. Online interactions blur traditional boundaries, requiring new norms of respect and kindness that go beyond chivalry’s historical roots.
Even parenting plays a role in the survival of modern chivalry. Parents who model and encourage empathy, accountability, and fairness in their children are arguably raising a generation that understands the core of chivalry better than any knight ever could. Teaching children to treat others with decency–regardless of gender, background, or status–cements these values as human, not just historical.
So, is chivalry alive? Maybe not in the way medieval poets imagined it. But in classrooms, on public transportation, in bustling cities, and quiet neighborhoods, it still breathes–just under a different name. Whether it’s called courtesy, respect, or kindness, the core values of chivalry continue to evolve alongside society. The challenge isn’t to resurrect chivalry in its old form, but to redefine it for the present–and decide together what kind of respect we want to extend to one another.
And perhaps that’s the most chivalrous idea of all: not following a fixed code, but creating one–collectively, inclusively, and with the future in mind.
“It shouldn’t be man versus women. The less we pit ourselves against each other, the more we can embrace the ideals of chivalry,” said Valentine Giret ’25, president of Bronx Science’s National Organization for Women Club.